Back to Life, Back to Reality.

I went back to work last week for the first time in about 3 weeks. I had been beginning to learn how to occupy myself with hobbies, I was doing some jewelry making and working on a cross stitch for a gift. I've noticed it helped keep me distracted, however in the wait to go back to work I have had to keep myself quite tranquilized with drugs and medications at the same time as using my distractions, but I now only have 3 weeks left until my first appointment with my new psychiatrist.
My specialist sent me a letter and I have my balance test and my hearing test booked in the city. These are the tests which will decide if I qualify for a bone implanted hearing aid. They don't think it will be a problem since I have next to no hearing in my left ear, accompanied by vertigo and balance problems. A regular hearing aid wouldn't allow me to hear any better so it's either this or nothing. I'm sure the process will take awhile yet but I am fairly confident about the outcome.
A. took me to the city yesterday to go shopping and I ended up getting my nose pierced again. It's something I have been talking about for at least six months but I needed to be in the city. It looks good, was exactly what I wanted and should heal up perfectly by the time I go back to work on Wednesday. I am starting to train at a different hospital starting then and none of those people have met me before. So I am sure they will just assume I always had it. Besides I have seen other people working in health services with nose piercings before and usually the union doesn't like to put up much of a stink about things. I had had my nose pierced when I was thirteen with a gun, what a bad idea. I was lucky that I never had problems with it and I wore it for several years, then it just fell out one day when I was camping and grew over. I never really liked the placement of it, it was much too low on my nostril so I got my new one above it with a ring and it covers the hole of my old one. One day if I wanted I could get my original piercing done again and have a double piercing on one nostril which might look cool but probably not while I work for health services. I don't want to push the envelope too much.
I am still however extremely nervous to go back to work now. New people, new job. I hope they like me and I like them. Whenever I meet new people I am always worried that I wear this stamp of Borderline Personality Disorder. Like I wear it on my skin and everyone knows. Maybe that's just paranoia. A. is going to take me to the hospital before I work so we can find out where I have to go and take a look around. That should help me feel a little more prepared and confident I suppose.
In the meantime I am going to enjoy the fact that I can send all day with my two dogs and my two kitties. I love them so much, they are a comfort to me. I miss them alot when I go to work so at least I will have the next couple of days to spend with my babies. That's happy.